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Search Engine Now!
GULLIBER
Hi, my name is Gulliber. I has a dream. I wanna do more with
my life. I wann be better at doin’ it…..
Is dat good euf, Mah?
MAH
Why’d you stop? You
were doin’ good. Now start
over, just like we practiced.
GULLIBER
Start now?
MAH
Yeppers. Three… two…
one…
GULLIBER
Hi, my name is Gulliber. I has a dream. I wanna do more with
my life. I wann be better at doin’ it so…
my Mah gits off my back, but I’m eaz-lee dee-stracted—
MAH
Cut! Cut!
Whaddya sayin’ that fer, Gulliber?
GULLIBER
I dunno, Mah. It
just kinda came out.
MAH
Okay, okay, we need to start again… watch me…
three… two… one…
GULLIBER
Hi, my name is Gulliber. I has a dream. I wanna do more with my life. I
wann be better at doin’ it, but I’m eaz-lee dee-stracted..
My greatest weakness is I trust
everyone.
MAH
Good job, Gulliber!
GULLIBER
Awww, shucks, Mah.
MAH
Okay, now…the next part…. Two… one…
GULLIBER
Anywho, one evenin’ while I was relaxin’ and watchin’ my big
tubey television—complete with a gov’ment issued converter box thingy—this
big ol’ long commercial came on. They went on-an’-on talkin’ about how I
could “Become a car mechanic in 30 days!”
MAH
Keep goin’…
GULLIBER
About the second time through, I was ready to calls dem up.
So I did. I calls dem
up an’ they put me on hold.
Den some phone lady told me to check out their website for details.
An’ I said, “Website?
What’s a web-site?” Fine-lee
a nice young thing came on the line, and I bought the whole car mechanic
training thing for only $99.99.
She was so nice an’ sent me two of them thingys for the price of
one. I’ll give one to my
cousin Gober for his birthday.
MAH
Keep goin’… We really wanna win this contest.
GULLIBER
Anywho, when I got the package the nex’ day I tore into it
like a kid on Christmas mornin’.
It was a couple-a engine manuals and a three DVDs, all in pretty
packagin’. It said START HERE
on one-a the DVDs, so I opened it up an’ put it in my DVD player.
By the way, I thank God for my cousin Gober… he gave me a DBD
player last Christmas. He
calls ‘em DBD’s; I think he’s funny.
MAH
Good job Gulliber, yer on a roll now—the Mechanics Online judges
will love this! Okay, keep
goin’…
GULLIBER
A purdy filly dressed in pink Mechanic’s overalls appeared an’
told me we were gonna play a game called SEARCH ENGINE NOW.
She sez, “Pick up the Basic Engine Manual.
Now SEARCH ENGINE NOW for the Table of Contents.”
So I openz the Manual an’
boom I finds it right away!
Just like this.
MAH
That’s it—this is good, son.
Let me zoom in on the Manual.
Hold it right there…. Good.
Okay…keep goin’.
GULLIBER
Next the purdy lady tells me, “SEARCH ENGINE NOW in the Table
of Contents for Air Filter.”
So I openz the Manual an’ boom
I finds it right away! I sez
to myself, “Hey I’m really gettin’ the hang o’ dis.
I will be a mechanic in NO TIME.”
Den I stopped the D“B”D—ha ha—and den it flashes on my T.V.:
For more information check us out
online using your favorite Search Engine today, such as Google.
An’ I sez outloud this time, “What in the
world is Google?”
Mahhhh, is this Google thingy somethin’ like my cousin Gober does?
MAH
Cut! Cut!
No, no, no. Google is
a computer thing. Yer cousin
likes to stare at folks—mostly you.
That’s called “ogle”.
GULLIBER
Ohhh…. I see. I
think. I think that’s all
Gober knows how to do. Mr.
Ogle. Ha ha.
MAH
Okay, okay. Let’s get
this show on the road.
GULLIBER
Let’s get this road on
the show. Ha ha!
MAH
All right Gull, that’s enuf-a that.
You gotta tell the last part. Are you ready?
GULLIBER
Yes’m.
MAH
Two… one…
GULLIBLE
I wanted to find ask what in the world a Google was so I calls
the purdy lady’s number on the screen.
She answers and sez, “Thank you calling SEARCH ENGINE NOW, how may
I help you today?” I sez,
“Hey purdy lady, I got your DVD an’ I am wonderin’ ,what in the world is a
Google?” an’ she sez,
“Why, it’s a SEARCH ENGINE NOW!”
MAH
Cut! Good job,
Gulliber!
--bro. tim pickl
Sunday October 9, 2011 A.D.
Originally posted on FaithWriters -- Check it out:
http://www.faithwriters.com/wc-article-level3-previous.php?id=40946
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