Bob and Marcia's Yellow Paper Drive

(Bob and Marcia are sitting on two comfortable chairs, center stage.  A small table is placed between the chairs.  With reading glasses, Marcia is knitting; Bob is holding a very old, yellowed newspaper.  Enter Joette, stage left.)

JOETTE
Good Morning Gramma and Grampa!

MARCIA
Good Morning sweetheart.  (Marcia picks up a roll of yellow yarn.)

BOB
Arrrgh.  (He turns a page in the yellowed newspaper.)

MARCIA
Don’t mind Grandpa, Joette – he hasn’t had all his coffee yet.  He’s kinda on strike because his favorite cup broke, and now he has to drink outta one-a-my sunshine cups.

BOB
(He puts the newspaper down and looks at Marcia over his glasses.) Aw, come-on Marcia.  You hid my cup.  (He picks up the coffee cup nearest to him.) Dis ain’t no coffee cup, it’s more like a Glee Club door prize.  The biggest glee gets the biggest, most awfulest yellow ting I ever seen.  Look at it.

MARCIA
I see, Bob, I see.  Well…it’s looks… really bright and sunny and happy.  Not like someone I know.

BOB
Arrrgh!  (He pulls the newspaper back up and begins to read.

JOETTE
(She changes the subject) Isn’t this a beautiful day?

MARCIA
Yes it’s a beautiful day:  a day that The Lord has made.

JOETTE
Grampa, what’re you doing?

BOB
I’m reading a newspaper. 

JOETTE
What? What is a news-paper?

BOB
It’s a paper wit sports and news and comics in it.

MARCIA
And coupons.  Well, at least in the olden days.

JOETTE
(She pulls out a lemon-skinned iPhone from her purse.)  This is where I see all that stuff, and more—like videos.

BOB
(He puts down the paper and looks at Joette.)   Nahhh, put away dat ting.  It’ll hurt your eyes.  I still like the old way, like when we had newspaper, and paper to write on an—let me tink for a sec…

JOETTE
Gramma, I wanted to tell you I’m goin’ to see a holographic movie with my friends later—I just need the address.

BOB
Dat’s it!  We used to have yellow pages for lookin’ up phone numbers and addresses and tings.

MARCIA
Oh, honey, that’s fine.  Go and have fun.

BOB
Wait—Joette, get dat big yellow book off of the table by the mirror.

JOETTE
(She exits stage right, then returns with an old yellow pages directory.)  Here, Grampa.  These things sure were heavy.

BOB
(He sets down the newspaper on the small table next to him, and takes the yellow pages and opens it on his lap.)  See, Marcia, see?  The Yellow Book is still good for somethin’.  Now, Joettey, which theater were you lookin’ for?

JOETTE
(She reaches for and pulls out her lemon-skinned iPhone from her purse, and peaks at it) My friend texted me—it’s called the Hillside Holographic 16.

BOB
Ouch!  That one is too new.  It ain’t in here.

MARCIA
Oh, Bob, that gives me an idea.

BOB
(He mocks Marcia) Oh, Bob that gives me an idea.  What now, Marcia?  I’m tryin’ to teach Joetty here sometin’ about her hair-tedge.  

MARCIA
Remember how when we were young we used to have paper drives?

BOB
How could I forget?   My dad bought me a red wagon for the paper drive when I was little.

MARCIA
Well, since no one is usin’ paper anymore, why don’t we go around and gather it all up, like we did when we was kids. 

BOB
And sell it?  Hmmmm…. I like that idea.

JOETTE
Or recycle it—Gramma and Grampa go green.

BOB
Nahhh—well, maybe some of it.  (He reaches under the newspaper on the table)  I found dis in the garage the other day.  (He pulls out a yellow-colored pen.)  I need paper.   I need a lot of paper to start writin’.

JOETTE
I just got the address from my friend.   But, Grampa, why do you need a pen and paper?  All you have to do is speak the words into an iPhone—

BOB
I would never use one-a doze tings!  ‘Specially not a yellow one.

MARCIA
Let’s do this.  We’ll use the old yellow station wagon and go door-to-door. 

BOB
Perfect!  We’ll call it the Yellow Paper Drive.  We’ll take any or all-a your yellows.

MARCIA
Bob, it’s good to hear ya excited.  Joette, would you like to help us?

JOETTE
Well, not today.

BOB
(He stands up.) Okay, no time like the present.

MARCIA
Okay! 

(Marcia stands up, and turns around.  On the back of her yellow robe is a huge smiley face ;)

+++

Reference:
This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
                 Psalm 118:24 (New International Version)

--bro. tim pickl   
Saturday November 14, 2009 A.D.

Originally posted on FaithWriters -- Check it out:
  http://www.faithwriters.com/wc-article-level3-previous.php?id=32998

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