Bob and Marcia's Cheap Date
 

MARCIA
Honey. are you going to turn on the news? 

BOB
(mocking) Honey. are you going to turn on the news?  Yes, Marcia I was looking for the remote control.  Oh..  where?  Oh--here it is.

MARCIA
Good, I want to see the weather.

BOB
Who had this channel on?

PREACHER
Let’s look here in the book of Revelation.  Jesus says he would rather see us hot or cold.  If a person is on fire and livin’ for God, he’s excited, enthusiastic and doin’ whatever he can do for the kingdom of God.  On the other hand, if a person is cold, he is indifferent and doesn’t care.  The worst state to be in, though, is lukewarm—

BOB
That’s enough outta you—
(turns the channel)

REPORTER
A truck carrying several tons of ice crashed on the main highway this morning, spilling bags of ice everywhere.  Unfortunately most of the ice melted in the current heat wave.  Miraculously the driver made it through the ordeal with only minor injuries.  Speaking of heat and ice, what’s in store for the weather?  Are we going to get a break from the heat?

MARCIA
I’m glad the driver is okay.

METEOROLOGIST
Let’s look at some weather basics--

BOB
Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Show me the weather already.

METEOROLOGIST
When an extremely warm air mass collides with an extremely cold one, severe weather can develop.  Tornadoes—even hurricanes—can result from the extreme clash. 

BOB
Sounds like you and me, hey Marsh?  Which one is cold… probably me, hey?

MARCIA
Now hush.  I just want to know if it’s gonna rain tomorrow. 

BOB
What’s goin’ on tomorrow?

MARCIA
Our church picnic—remember?

BOB
Oh no… I forgot.  I was gonna play golf first thing in the morn—

METEOROLOGIST
And right around sunrise and for most of the morning, we predicting that’s when most of the severe weather will be coming through.   Remember, when we issue a Severe Storm Warning, stay away from all windows, and move toward the center of the house, preferably in the basement--

MARCIA
Looks like it’ll be too dangerous to golf.

BOB
I s’pose you’re right.

METEOROLOGIST
After the storms pass, it looks like the sun will come back out and the rest of the day looks nice, with cooler temperatures--

MARCIA
God knows!  Our picnic is in the afternoon.

BOB
If only I could bottle all that hot air comin’ outta you…  I’d be rich.

MARCIA
Bob, you’re always sayin’ that.  What if I said somethin’ back to you, like “If I could bottle all that cold air comin’ outta you, we wouldn’t need air conditionin’!”

BOB
You wouldn’t.

MARCIA
Well, maybe I would.

BOB
You wouldn’t.  I just know you… and how much you love Jesus.  You would never disrespect me like that—

MARCIA
Pullin’ the Jesus card now, hey?

BOB
Now, Marsh, you’re startin’ to get hot around the collar—

MARCIA
No, I’m just sick of it.  Sick of you.  You always mock me.  You never tell me you love me.  You never take me out for a date or go to church any more.  You know how important God is in my life!  If you only knew how urgent the hour is, and how close we were to the end--  Oh-oh, what’s happenin’?

(clutches her left upper arm with her right hand, and passes out, falling to the floor)

BOB
Marcia?  Marcia--
(pulls out cell phone from his pocket and dials---)
9, 1, 1--  Hello?  I have an emergency here!
My wife just passed out on the floor, clutching her arm.  
Yes. 
Okay. 
2777 Willowfield Rd.  Please hurry!
(clicks the phone OFF)
Dear Lord, please help…please…  I don’t know what I would do without my precious--


+++
 

MARCIA
(singing softly from a hospital bed)
Precious memories, how they linger… How they ever flood my soul--

BOB
Why are you singin’ here in the hospital? 

MARCIA
Oh, I’m just rememberin’ when we used to go to church together all the time.  I dreamt about it when I was passed out.

BOB
I just thank God you made it through. 
(starts wiping tears away) 
I got scared, real scared…

(lightning light flashes, then we hear thunder)

MARCIA
Wha—what time is it?  (sits up a little straighter)

BOB
It’s early in the mornin’.  The storms are passin’ through right now.

MARCIA
I’m feelin’ much better—praise the Lord!

BOB
Yes, thank God.

MARCIA
Hey, let’s go to the picnic today.

BOB
Sounds like a date.

MARCIA
A cheap one! (laughs)

 

+++

Reference:

Revelation 3:14-22 (New Living Translation)

The Message to the Church in Laodicea
“Write this letter to the angel of the church in Laodicea. This is the message from the one who is the Amen—the faithful and true witness, the beginning of God’s new creation:
“I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other!
But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!
You say, ‘I am rich. I have everything I want. I don’t need a thing!’ And you don’t realize that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked.
So I advise you to buy gold from me—gold that has been purified by fire. Then you will be rich. Also buy white garments from me so you will not be shamed by your nakedness, and ointment for your eyes so you will be able to see.
I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be diligent and turn from your indifference.
“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.
Those who are victorious will sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat with my Father on his throne.
“Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what he is saying to the churches.”


--bro. tim pickl   
Monday April 13, 2009 A.D.

Originally posted on FaithWriters -- Check it out:
 
http://www.faithwriters.com/wc-article-level3-previous.php?id=28553

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