American Choir
A One-Act Skit
 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

+ + +


CHARACTERS:

The Host - Ryan Regress
Judge #1 - Randy Ransom
Judge #2 - Paula O'Toole
Judge #3 - Simon Scowl (Australian accent)
"Choir" Contestant #1 - H.S. (Han Solo) and the Charlottes


SET:

Audition Room (table with 3 chairs)


+ + +


ACT 1 - THE AUDITIONS

[Sound: drum roll]
[Spotlight: on Ryan]


RYAN
(center stage) I'm Ryan Regress, and you're watching American Choir!


[Spotlight: off]
[Sound: Theme music]
[Projection: AMERICAN CHOIR logo on screen]
[Spotlight: on Ryan]


RYAN
Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls! Welcome to
the premiere season of American Choir! (pauses for applause)


[Sound: applause]


RYAN
This is America's largest Christian choir competition ever.
Out of thousands of participants, our Judges--

[Randy, Paula and Simon are seated at the table on the stage]
[Stage Lights: on the 3 Judges]


RYAN
The Big Dog--Randy Ransom! (pauses for applause)


[Randy waves at the audience]
[Sound: applause]


RYAN
The lovely Paula O'Toole! (pauses for applause)


[Paula throws kisses at the audience]
[Sound: applause]


RYAN
And (chuckling) our uncompromising Boss--Simon Scowl (pauses for boos and applause)


[Simon smiles then scowls at the audience]
[Sound: boos and applause mixed]


RYAN
Our Judges will suggest winners and by the end of the season--
America, YOU will have voted for the next American Choir! (pauses for applause)


[Sound: applause]


RYAN
Tonight we want to show you the highlights from auditions we held
in the Chicago-area last summer. We estimated a record crowd
of almost 90,000 who stood in lines for hours at Soldier Field.
First, we have H.S. and the Charlottes!


[Spotlight: off Ryan]
[Enter H.S. with messed up hair, dressed up like 'Han Solo' of 'Star Wars']


RANDY
Hey, hey, hey--what do we have here?

PAULA
Ohhh, I like it, I like it.

SIMON
Oh, no. Here we go again. Sci-fi nuts.

HANOVER
(smiling large, very nervous) Greetings everyone!
I've had some time to practice while flying the Millenium Falcon.
The ship is actually my car--

SIMON
(laughs, mocking) 'Millenium Falcon'--
Where are 'The Charlottes'? Are they all 'wookies?'

PAULA
Awww, come on.... give him a chance!

RANDY
(laughing along with Simon)
Okay, dog. I get it. H.S. is Han Solo! Very clever.

H.S.
(clears his throat) I am Han Solo!

SIMON
(rolls his eyes) Come on, now --

PAULA
Wait, now, Simon--he's charming--

RANDY
Dude, what do you have for us today?

H.S.
Okay, I'll start over. The Charlottes could not make it tonight
because of a serious bus accident.

PAULA
(interrupts) Are they okay?

H.S.
Yes, by the grace of God. I prayed all the way here.

SIMON
Okay, okay--enough of this already . 'Han Solo', 'wookies', 'Millenium Falcon'.
Where's the song? I want him out of here--


[Sound: Boos]


PAULA
No, Simon, wait, just wait--he's been through a hard time.
I can feel his pain. (starts to cry)

H.S.
(also crying, then starts to talk) I want to sing 'Awesome God' by Rich Mullins.

RANDY
Okay, okay. I can dig that. One of my favorites.

H.S.
(singing) Oh when He rolls up his sleeves
He ain't just puttin' on the ritz,
Our God is an awesome God
There is thunder in his footsteps and lightning in his fists
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
with wisdom, pow'r and love
Our God is an awesome God--

RANDY
Whoa-whoa-whoa! (looks at Paula, then back at H.S.)
I like it--I like your style. You can sing, Bro., as unto the Lord!
Paula, what-do-you-think? Should we send him to Jerusalem for the finals?

PAULA
(shaking her head 'yes') Your voice captivated me from the first note.
I say yes!

SIMON
(pauses) You remind me of a mate I knew in Bible College in Australia.
He would sing 'Awesome God' in the shower and then watch a 'Star Wars'
movie every Saturday night. I say 'no'!


[Sound: Boos and jeers]


PAULA
(shaking her head 'no') Awww, Simon! You are merciless!

SIMON
Hey--I speak the truth! The man is a shower singer--


[Sound: louder Boos and jeers]


SIMON
(throws up his hands, shrugging his shoulders)
--nothing more, nothing less.

RANDY
Bible College, hey? You should "speak the truth in love", man.

PAULA
Yeah, that's what the Bible says--

SIMON
Oh, so it's two against one, again, eh?
You're like two old crocs in the outback--

PAULA
I am not!

RANDY
Whoa-whoa-whoa -- Han here is crying. Hey man, do you need a hug?
(gets up)

PAULA
(gets up) Let's give him a hug.

SIMON
(rolls his eyes dramatically, shaking his head 'no') This is unbelievable.


[Randy and Paula give H.S. a hug center-stage]
[Sound: cell phone ring tone, 'Star Wars' theme]


H.S.
(wiping his eyes with a handkerchief) I better get this--
Hello? Yes this is Han. What? Oh. Oh no.


[Han collapses to the floor, into a sitting position]
[Randy and Paula comfort him]


SIMON
(points at the audience) Can't you see this is all a ploy?

RANDY
What happened?

H.S.
My friends... on the bus... didn't... didn't make it--

RANDY
Oh, wow--


[Sound: cell phone ring tone, 'Darth Vader Theme' from 'Star Wars']


SIMON
Hello? This is Simon Scowl.


[Sound: boos]

SIMON
(holds up his hand to quiet the boos) What? You're kidding.


[enter Ryan Regress]


RYAN
Simon, what's going on?

SIMON
(moves his hand to his head and rubs his forehead) Yes, I'm still here.
This is unbelievable. (starts to cry, pushes the off button)

PAULA
Simon, I've never seen you cry--

RANDY
Yeah, what's up?

SIMON
Apparently....apparently the bus with the choir on it crashed into my
wife's car. She was...she was killed instantly. (puts his head down)

RYAN
(walks over and embraces Simon and begins to pray) Lord, please keep
Your hand on my friend Simon...comfort him now during the time of
his loss.


[Stage lights: Fade to black]
[Spotlight: off]


H.S.
(singing, softly and slowly) Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
with wisdom, pow'r and love
Our God is an awesome God--



-end-
 


--bro. tim pickl
Saturday January 19, 2008 A.D.

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